The Incredibly Uneventful Story of Eleanora's Birth

Ella's birth was really uneventful which is why it's taken me so long to write about it. I don't really know what to say! When I wrote about Ana's birth, I think I was using that to vent my frustration over some aspects of it. With Ella's birth, I had no regret or frustration or feeling of loss, it was perfect and exactly how birth should be in my opinion. So, if you're interested, here is the incredibly normal story of Eleanora's birth.

I went in for my 40 week check with the midwife on Thursday and told her my plan was to go into labor on Friday evening because my husband would be off work the next day and I hate making him miss work or sleep. I've been reading a lot of Ina May Gaskin and in several stories she indicates that you can indicate to your body when to go into labor, so I figured we'd give it a go. Friday I went for a walk to move things along but then we found out that Gary had to work Saturday! I was disappointed and changed my plan to go into labor Saturday evening instead. Saturday I went on another walk, this time with my sisters, to try to kick start labor. My nephew was adorable because after we told him I was trying to go into labor he thought we were going to a PLACE called Labor! After we walked 1.5 miles we turned around to head back to our car and he was crushed because he thought we had given up on walking to Labor and he wouldn't get to meet baby Eleanora after all! We did a lot of explaining after that about what labor is, haha! So, I was having some mild, sporadic contractions that day but I convinced my sisters I wasn't in labor  and Kate went home for the night. Gary and I decided to head to walmart and get a few last minute things I kept forgetting to pick up (Depends... Ugh). I drove and as we were turning into walmart I had a contraction and almost couldn't brake in time because I couldn't move my leg during it! That's when I realized I was in labor (about 7:30 pm), but I didn't tell anyone yet. We got our stuff and I became pretty insistent that we needed to get HOME. After getting home, I knew I needed to sleep because I hadn't had a nap that day and I was exhausted. I casually timed my contractions while "sleeping" and they were about 10 minutes apart. Around 2:30 am I woke up and was confident that this was definitely definitely real true labor. My contractions weren't the steady "5-1-1" that everyone says is labor, but I knew anyway. I walked around for a while, mostly on our screened-in porch. During contractions I danced a little and swayed and tried to focus on the moon and the cicadas to distract myself (it was a gorgeous night). I also, oddly, did a lot of counting to help me focus. I definitely didn't plan that part but it was a big help!

At 4 am, I woke Gary up and told him I was in labor for real. I was thinking I still had loads of time. I told him I wanted to get in the hot tub (on the porch) and I wanted him out there with me. We quietly snuck out of the room hoping to escape without waking Ana up and failed. I fixed her a bottle and put her back to bed and then I went and woke Sophie up and let her know to keep an ear open for Ana. Out to the hot tub I went and eased in. I almost immediately threw up. Luckily there was a bucket right there! From labor with Ana, I knew that throwing up was my big neon sign flashing "BABY IS COMING!" I was in transition! Yay! Oh crap, we haven't called the midwife yet! 

Gary quickly called our midwife, Marianne, and I told him to be sure she knew that I was throwing up, even though contractions were inconsistent. She said she would be there ASAP but she lives about 35 miles away (which I knew). Meanwhile my parents left to head over to my sisters so they could watch her kids and Kate could come over and "doula" me. Around this point I was getting really hot because the tub temp was set too high. I tried to get out but as soon as a contraction hit I was almost in tears and got back in the water immediately. It was such a huge relief!

 I only felt the contractions in my lower abdomen, like really intense menstrual cramps. That was totally different from my labor with Ana where I felt my whole uterus contract. Anyway, Gary turned off the heat and the tub cooled off pretty quickly so I was able to stay in. Back to the story!

The midwife arrived at exactly 5 am (a mere 40 minutes after we called her!) and I was so grateful for her presence! I still thought I had a few hours and I was just telling Gary that I couldn't do it and wondering out loud what on earth was I thinking when I signed up for this. Marianne got a few things set up and listened to me labor for a couple minutes and then informed me that I would be having a baby VERY soon. I thought she was just trying to be encouraging. My next contraction scared me because I felt my body pushing which I never felt with Ana. It was a whole new experience! Without really needing to ask Marianne said "That was a little push, wasn't it?" Yeah. It was. Super scary all of a sudden. I began to remind myself of some of the birth affirmations I had written: "God created my body for this" and "Babies DO come out". It's normal! It really does work like this! Marianne asked me to see if I could feel Ella's head. I checked and felt something squishy and she said it was my water bag. My body began to take over during the next several contractions and pushed for me, which was such an incredible feeling and surprisingly felt good (satisfying good, not comfortable good!). I knew the end was in sight and I had planned to not push more than 3 times (I pushed almost 3 hours with Ana and didn't want that again.) I knew I could make it because it was almost over! Except... Kate hadn't arrived! 

At some point shortly after 5, Ana went back to bed and Sophie came out to help support me. The birth assistant, LeeAnne, arrived around 5:20, just an hour after she had been called. Well, despite Kate not being there, Ella took ownership of another birth affirmation "My baby knows the right moment for her birth!" After maybe 20 minutes of pushing, I reached down and felt Ella's head, had a contraction, and pushed her head out. I was crying at with joy and relief and waiting for the next contraction. Gary remembered that I had asked him to catch Ella when she came out so he rushed from my side to the other end of the pool and caught her just as the next contraction pushed her out. He and Marianne immediately lifted her to my chest and I was in total bliss. This is, thankfully, the most vivid part of my memory of her birth. The feeling of her coming out, seeing her laying on my chest, the almost immediate end of contractions, it was heavenly! I was sitting in that pool saying "Oh my God, I had a baby! I can't believe I just had a baby! Oh my God!" This moment was so incredibly beautiful to me because I don't remember Ana's birth very clearly thanks to the IV I had, everything was fuzzy and confusing and I greatly regret that. Eleanora's moment of birth isn't the slightest but hazy.

So, at 5:35 am on July 20th, Eleanora Jane Fields left the womb and joined the outside world. I will never forgot the feeling of her on my chest, every still moment as I noticed her little round ears, her perfect eyebrows, her sweet quietness, her alert eyes, her wonderful dark hair, and the perfect shape of her head. As I was sitting there in my euphoria, I looked up and saw the headlights of my sisters car, not 5 minutes after Ella was born. Oops! Oh well, like I said. Eleanora knew the right moment for her birth! 

One part I loved about this was that after Ella's birth, my midwife gently helped me to bed to deliver the placenta, and let me rest for a bit and nurse Ella before she even tried to do a newborn check or see if I tore or anything. There was no doctor timeline, there was just peace and patience and the beauty of new life. Marianne and LeeAnne helped me into the shower after a while and then cleaned up and started a load of laundry while I was refreshing. They helped me into bed so Gary, Ella, and I could take a nap and then they left! No nurses in my room every 4 hours for a blood pressure check, no obnoxious pulse-ox to keep on Ella, no uterus mashing every hour. Just sweet rest and recovery and new baby smell. So, there you have it, the incredibly uneventful birth of Eleanora!

Disclaimer: I know that "oh my God" is used casually by many people and if you know me very well you know that I can't use that phrase in that way. However "Oh my God" is also a term used in scripture to worship God. This was not a slip of the tongue after delivery, I really want to clarify that I was worshipping my God for the beauty of life, of labor and delivery, and for His goodness in keeping Ella and me safe. I wish I could describe the awe I felt in that moment. My God is so great and so good! 

PS: Eleanora has a perfect latch :D 

What I got for Mother's Day...

This morning I woke up with a head cold at 7:23. I had 5 blissful minutes to myself before my 15 month old daughter woke up. I decided in those 5 minutes that regardless of whether my husband even realizes it's Mother's Day, I will have a great Mother's Day. And guess what? When I pried him out of bed 2 hours later, he still didn't realize it was Mother's Day. No flowers, no card, no breakfast in bed, no "Let me take the baby, you can sleep in." But guess what? 

I didn't become a mother so that I could be celebrated on Mother's Day. 

I didn't become a mother for glory.

If no one wishes me a happy Mother's Day all day long, I am still a mother and I am a better person because of it. 

So I baked myself a cookie cake this morning, made my own mother breakfast in bed, started lunch, and read a few verses from the Bible about being a mom. My motherhood is not invalidated if other people don't acknowledge it. My joy is not stolen if I don't even get a cheesy card. 

My reward is my daughters grin when first sees me every morning. My celebration is teaching her to say "Please" and "Thank you." My satisfaction is found when she makes her adorable fishie lips and offers me a kiss. 

So stop feeling sorry for yourself and go hug your babies and thank them for making you a mother.

 

New Baby Excitement

I am gearing up right now for the birth of our next baby, another sweet girl. I knew before I got pregnant that I wanted a home birth. I wanted a home birth for Anastasia but they're difficult to obtain in North Carolina. As I'm preparing for this birth I feel like I am constantly teetering back and forth between terrified and thrilled! But tonight, I think I solved my problem...

Anyone who knows me, knows I love a party. I read a blog tonight on styling your home birth (forgive me, I'm mobile and can't figure out how to hyperlink. (http://boldturquoise.com/2013/10/the-hows-and-whys-of-planning-and-styling-your-homebirth-day-12-bellies-birth-and-babies/) and of COURSE I'm totally into that idea! Basically, the premise is that you use your nesting energy to make some cute decorations, bunting or whatever, to celebrate your baby's birth! 

So, if you follow me on Pinterest, YES, that is why my Pinterest blew up. The blog also suggests using your early labor period to make some snacks and party food for your birth attendants to enjoy while you labor and for yourself after birth (or whenever you want it!). Considering it will be July for this, watermelon sorbet is on my list! 

I also read this (http://pinterest.com/pin/103442122665903751/) beautiful story of a home birth. The mama in this looks so lovely and dignified and put together and I realized that if I don't want to be a hot mess in all my pictures I need a birth dress. Yupp. So tonight, I spent some time scouring Etsy and Amazon and a little bit of Google for pretty dresses to wear during labor. Y'all, I'm stoked about this. 

I'm having a baby.

It is going to be hard and beautiful and painful and celebratory. Praise God, Gary and I are bringing another precious life into the world and it will absolutely be a party! Today I feel empowered and enlivened. The only thing missing from our party is music. Every good party needs a great soundtrack! Help me pick some songs! I like energetic, fun music. Two of the songs I had on Ana's birth playlist were "Water" by Brad Paisley, "Knee Deep" by Zac Brown Band (it was a water birth, duh!). 

What are your suggestions??

For What It's Worth...

Worth. What an important idea. An undeniably vital concept in all societies. No one wants something that is worthless. The value of all things has fluctuated over time based on our level of luxury. The more luxury we have the more we value things that are, ultimately, worthless.

 Entertainment. You may recall that in reference to most forms of visual media my dads response has been "Well, if you want to fill your head with garbage..." As I get older I'm becoming more aware that entertainment is garbage, it's worthless!

Last night I realized that the point of that comment was that I am filling my own head with garbage. My parents did not fill it for me. They left my head pretty darn free of garbage and I started filling it up on my own until its so full of garbage that "sin sensors" are undeniably dull. I've been watching The Adventures of Merlin lately and on an episode I watched recently one character, Morgana, was the cause of a lot of trouble, ie, the king dying. In order to stop the trouble, Merlin had to kill her. And he did, he poisoned a bag of water with Hemlock and tricked her into drinking it. He used his good reputation, the trust that Morgana had for himself to murder someone. And I was rooting for him! She had to die for the conflict to resolve, obviously it was the only solution! Murder. Merlin stood there and watched Morgana's breathing begin to fail. This is one of the most family friendly shows I know. I glossed over it until I forced myself to ponder his actions. 

Unfortunately for the entertainment industry, it's not friendly enough for my family. Recent studies have shown that children have a difficult time differentiating between fact and fiction until a certain age. Am I really going to teach Anastasia that it is okay to murder someone if the situation calls for it? (To be clear, I WILL teach her that self defense is acceptable.) Of course not! So why would I allow a TV show to teach her that while she is young and her mind is defenseless?

It is not my right to fill Ana's head with garbage. I shudder to think of standing before my Lord and confessing that I allowed Anastasia to be taught by the multi-billion dollar entertainment industry that murder, lying, stealing, using God's name in vain, and any other number of sins are "okay". What a terrifying thought. 

All these musing last night led me to the fact that entertainment is worthless. And better yet, entertainment is boring! We are so entertained that entertainment isn't enough anymore! A friend of mine plays video games with his laptop right next to him, playing Netflix, and his phone in his hand for texting or YouTube or whatever else can amuse him between game loads. 

So here I sit, night after night, mindlessly watching TV while I simultaneously check Facebook on my phone and my house is in disarray. I feed my husband sandwiches for lunch instead of preparing a meal the night before, because I obviously didn't have time to do it while filling my head with garbage. 

As of today, I'm going on an entertainment fast. I will be blogging still and emailing, so feel free to contact me at emilyskilesfields@gmail.com or just keep up here!

I plan to be doing much more meaningful things in the coming days. 

 P.S. Please allow me to explain what I mean by "worthless". Basically, if the zombie apocalypse began now, would that thing/skill/episode help save my life or my family? (Or would anyone care about it?) Is it doing anything to better my life or my family's life? Is it beneficial in any way? If not..... It's worthless. 

The Big Bad K

Yesterday I did something terrifying...

I ate kale. 

Oh you delicious leafy green vegetable! Why was I so afraid of you??

I want to start juicing and kale is something that everyone says you MUST put in your juices. Well, I didn't want to just juice it in and ruin a whole quart of juice with a single leaf so I figured I'd better taste it first. 

As I was shopping with my sister three days ago, I noticed that kale was on sale! Being the adventurous eater I am, I decided to buy a whole stalk. It cost me one hard-earned nickel, folks.  That's right $0.05!! You might be wondering "Gee, what could you do with a single stalk of kale?"

Chips. 

Yupp! I washed my kale and tossed it in coconut oil, then ground a teensy bit of salt and pepper over them.  I baked them on my stone for a few minutes and sprinkled them with Parmesan cheese when they came out. I was nervous to taste the first one but once I did, I ate all of them and wished for more! I over did the salt a bit, next time I think I'll mix the salt into the oil before I toss the kale in. What? Next time?? YES! They were that good!

-----------------------------

Crunchy Kale Chips

2 T. Coconut oil, room temperature (ie, liquid)

1/8 t. Salt

Fresh ground pepper, to taste

2 T. Parmesan "dust" (ie, shelf stable Parmesan)

1/2 lb. kale

Wash kale and remove the leaves from the ribs. Tear leaves into "chip sized" pieces if necessary. In a medium bowl, stir salt into coconut oil. Add kale and gently toss until evenly coated with the salty oil. Place leaves on a baking sheet and grind fresh pepper over them. Bake 7 minute, then turn and bake another 7 minutes. Allow to cool and top with Parmesan cheese. Try to share. Yum!

Sleeping Is Hard Work

It is 4:57 am. 

This is what we're doing. 

Ugh. 

Ever since our first night home with Anastasia I have been a hardcore we-do-not-play-at-night mom. Tonight, Anastasia woke up around 2:30 am (coincidentally this is also the time her dad came to bed... I'm just saying). So for about 1 hour we lay in bed listening to her blabber, wondering when it would stop. Around 3:30 ish, blabber turns into WAAAHHH so I get up, change her diaper and rock her to sleep. Success! Lay her down in her crib. Still asleep! Success! Raise the side of the crib and leave her room. STILL ASLEEP! TOTAL SUCCESS! 

Folks, I lay in bed for a blissful 8 minutes before she woke up again. Blissful, I tell you. I got up to rescue my weeping baby and she started laughing because she was so thrilled to see me. Rascal. Well, I tried to calm her without picking her up, which was fruitless, so I picked her up and cradled her to rock her back to sleep. No such luck. 40 minutes later, mommy gives up. 

Anastasia, you win this time. Just please take a nap before we have to leave for breakfast. Please!

Diligent and Industrious

I was born stubborn. As a kid, no matter how many times I got in trouble for the same thing, I kept doing it. My mom likes to tell a story about my first night in a toddler bed. When she put me to bed she told me that if I got out, she would spank me. Of course I got out. We both knew I was being disobedient and she spanked me like she had warned. Back in bed, moments after she closed my bedroom door for the second time, I opened it to find her waiting for me in the hallway. She knew I was stubborn. She spanked me 43 times that night before I learned to stay in my bed! 

As an adult, I have learned that stubbornness is just symptom of a larger problem. Depravity. Due to the fall, we are sinful, wicked people from the start. This week, Ana's stubborn side has come out swinging and my prayer life just got a LOT more serious. Nap time is a nightmare! All of my fail-safe sleeping baby techniques have failed! No matter what I do, her eyes stay wide open. 

Thankfully, my parents turned my stubbornness into something useful and beneficial: diligence. They are similar things, just with different purpose. Stubbornness is a determination to get things done MY WAY. Diligence is a determination to GET THINGS DONE. I'm so grateful that my parents saw my strong will and helped me grow to make it a good thing. 

My prayer for Ana has quickly become that I will help her to become a diligent, industrious person. 

Side note! My name actually means Industrious or Diligent! How appropriate :)