Where did you come from???

Okay, I know it's silly but sometimes I can't help but look at Ana in awe and wonder "Where did you come from??" Obviously I know where she came from, I was there for the whole process, but it still baffles me. Such a tiny perfect creation, she is all ours and I feel like we did nothing to deserve her. Her cheeks are so round and darling, her stretches are the most adorable thing I've ever seen EVERY TIME SHE DOES IT, her smiles are just too sweet to bear.

Right after my labor, I swore I would never have another baby. I was pretty sure nothing could be worth the pain I had felt. I didn't have that "mommy high" right after delivery because the medicine I was given made my head so foggy. I kinda just wanted this kid to leave me alone and let me recuperate from the most exhausting day of my life. I told my birth story in the last post but I skipped some important things so that I could properly emphasize them.

Labor was hard. 27 hours of contractions is a lot. There were times when I didn't think I could go on, I secretly hoped for a c-section once or twice just so it would be over. At those moments, Gary was my rock. He was gentle and understanding. He was so supportive. He did counter pressure for hours while I had back labor. When I was close to tears, he would reel me back in, reminding me why I was doing this. He told me over and over again that "it's almost over" and I believed him every time, never questioning that he'd been saying it for hours. When I squeezed his hand for 3 hours of pushing, he insisted that it didn't hurt at all.

I know that my husband is a strong man. I know that he loves me with all his heart. I know that he wants to care for me. But, until we went through labor together, I couldn't fathom how strong he was, how much he loved me, or how deeply he cared for me. I am still astonished and feel truly blessed by his incredible support during the birth of our daughter. I know that my labor would have been longer and I would have felt much more hopeless if Gary hadn't been with me.